Hawaii Day 11 - Pali, Makapuu Lighthouse

Today we were going to go to the tide pools that the kids love so much again. So after a pretty leisurely morning, we packed up and headed out at about 10am. On the way up the Pali I noticed it was pretty windy, so we decided to stop. Yes, it was the VERY BEST time to go. The wind was fierce but steady, there was no rain to pelt us (as usually happens when the wind is really strong) and the kids LOOVED it. In the photo you can see some idiot young adults trying to climb the fence but no worries, they could have jumped and the wind would have pushed them back (it happens). They weren't brave enough to try.

After the fence it is just a DROP; sources disagree but the standard measure is between 985 feet (counting only the vertical drop itself) and 1400 feet (counting the vertical drop and the steep slope to the valley floor that comes afterwards). Legend has it that King Kamehameha I, the monarch who unified the islands under his control (before this each isle was under the control of its own chief), forced his opponents up to the cliffs here and decided his victory by pushing them over. The photo shows the area we lived in before we moved from the islands (not the area my parents live in). This is a favorite view because the panorama continues on either side. And, oh yeah, there's a parking lot 100 feet behind where I took the photo. It is probably the most effortless mountain view on the island.

We headed out to hike the trail to the Makapuu lighthouse, which clings halfway down a slender and very tall strip of mountain that thrusts itself into the sea. The hike was HOT. The CACTI were withering and dying. But the views were incredible:













After all that...when we got to the beach the tide pools were entirely submerged and waves were actually breaking on the shore, something that none of us had ever seen before. We headed a couple miles down the road to watch people boogie board in some REALLY big waves, then when the kids fell asleep in the car decided that what the heck, it was already 4pm...we just went on back to swim in the pool and eat shave ice at the neighborhood store.

Hawaii Day 10 - Honolulu Zoo

Yeah, I'm breaking form and writing this the next morning.

We went to the zoo yesterday. It is STILL under construction. OMG this is the project that never ends! They had some cool new kid stuff though, including an exhibit where you crawl in a tube through an aquarium and can then pop up to the surface right in the middle of the tank. It was supposed to have Koi in it, but being incomplete...it was just a tank of water. The kids thought it was pretty neat anyway, but I think they'd have loved being in there with the fish :(. The new keiki zoo has a thing where you roll a barrel and it turns a massive water-works, too, but it didn't have water in it yet (WTF?) and they have a goat enclosure that you get into by jumping up a series of logs, walking around a lookout-type wall, and then rock-climbing down (or for the weak of heart, there's a door).

The zoo was hot and miserable, but would have been bearable of boyness hadn't decided to WHINE INCESSANTLY about how hot and miserable it was. He forgot whenever he saw something cool, but in between, it was near-constant. UGH.

Toddlerness refused to walk, at ALL. STROLLERS ROCK. She sat there and ate her raisins for most of the trip. She was enchanted with the cows and the chickens...she really loved the keiki (children) zoo. It was the only place we could get her to move on her own power. I'd say she was sick or something but the second we get near water, OFF SHE GOES. So I guess she's just conserving energy for when the "real fun" rolls around.

I purchased a membership at the Honolulu Zoo because it is cheap and offers reciprocity with both Woodland Park and Point Defiance back home. Saved me about a hundred bucks all told.

We went back to my parents' and had a pretty average afternoon. I made the kids nap because they were the biggest fucking crank-asses EVER. Tony woke up much more reasonable.

We stayed up late playing Trivial Pursuit. My dad won. We are such a dorky family. It was fun anyway.

Hawaii Day 9 - Kailua, Aiea Loop Trail

It was a nicer day today so we managed our trip to Kailua beach finally. We set up a tent and brought the boogie boards, and the kids had a grand time. Becca and Tony both caught a bunch of waves, and Naomi really enjoyed puttering around with her swim-wings on out past the break, where she could just float around. The sun was out, the water was warm, the breeze was mild. But after several hours we were beat, and headed back in time to get lunch, pick up Paul's girlfriend, and head out in our very-packed van for some hiking.





The Aiea Loop Trail (it has a different name, after the heiau - temple - that it begins at, but I can't remember it and neither can anyone else...) is 4.5 miles long but very, very hilly and, after that initial clear patch, tangled in roots and rocks. In other words, it was a TON of fun for the big kids at first but quickly became tiring. And I didn't have a backpack carrier for Naomi, so we had to carry her, even after she fell asleep.



About 3 miles in Becca declared a need to go to the bathroom and an absolute unwillingness to stop, so my dad rushed her on ahead. He says it took them only about 15 minutes to complete the trail (whohoo, good pace...she ran!) but I lugged an unhappy (and not too silent about it) toddler and a worn-out 4yo the same distance in about an hour. The last quarter mile or so, Paul even carried Boyness on his back. But we eventually DID get to the end (there's an END?) of the trail. Every time I hike this I say "NEVER AGAIN" but then look at the pictures and say "oh yeah." The trail follows the ridge-rim along a valley, then dips down to the valley floor and back up to return you to your starting point. At your peak elevation, you are perhaps 100 vertical feet below the highest point on the island (which we hiked to LAST year on the Stairway to Heaven) and at your lowest point you are slogging around in stream beds and oppressive humidity. About at the point where you've gone 4 miles and are slogging up the hill in very humid and completely breeze-less air, tripping on roots because you're just sick of looking at the damned things, you just...HAVE...to decide never to do it again.

At least the views were nice! And I'll be damned if it isn't working; you remember the pretty and you forget how fucking miserable the trail is while you're actually ON it.

Hawaii Day 8 - Ala Moana

We had intended to spend all of today at Kailua beach, but those plans fell through when the forecast was unfavorable (overcast, showers, chance of thunderstorms). We headed out instead to Ala Moana, which of all the beaches on the island, was one of the more likely to be clear even if it was storming everywhere else.

Clear, no, but hot and humid and not-raining, yes. The kids had a great, if shorter than it would have been in the sun, time. Naomi looks ridiculous pedalling herself around in her waterwings. She got upset at me for keeping her close to shore. I don't know if she wanted to check out the waves or the turtles or the distance swimmers further out there, but I was just, well, STUBBORN about her staying within 30 feet of shore or so.

Once we'd done that we went home, washed, went grocery shopping (we had invited FIL and his wife over for dinner), caught a dollar movie, came home, swam in the pool, made dinner...

We had a great time with FIL and sMIL, the food came out well, they'd brought some wines back from Italy, and it was just...a good evening. After they'd left we played a few hokey games Paul had used in camp (he was the rec coordinator), bypassing his personal favorite (anarchy ball) in favor of the bus-bound ones. My mom was, after all, more than a little happy about the amount of wine she'd taken in. Ah, nothing like a round robin game of name-that-country...DRUNK. We then had a pool tournament of sorts (yes, the game with the balls and cues, not the swimming pool) afterwards. Good fun.

Hawaii Day 7

Peter and Elizabeth took Tony and Becca out today for some one-on-one time. Peter bought Tony some Spiderman shoes and a light saber, Elizabeth got for Becca a bunch of clothing. They bought lunch at Jack in the Box. The kids came home very happy if a bit hyped.

Meanwhile, my dad and I took the opportunity to run a bunch of errands.

We were all tired by the time everyone was together again at 1pm, so we had a pretty easy afternoon, swimming in the pool, walking to the same neighborhood store I'd gone to a thousand times as a kid, swimming some more. We set up the kiddie tent in the middle of the living room and the big kids are in there watching a movie through the tent door.

I feel simply beyond BEAT, I think all the nights cut short and interrupted sleep is totally catching up to me.

Hawaii Day 6 - Hale Koa, Baby Makapuu

This morning we went to meet Fran's dad and stepmom for brunch. They'd known we would be in town, of course, and we'd called them as soon as we were arrived, but they'd been battling bronchitis. They called on Friday letting us know they were able to breathe again, and would we like to go to brunch at, oh, the best place to go to brunch on the island? Er, yeah.

Paul recognized the upright bass that one of the live musicians was playing, so they had a nice extended conversation about just how it came to be in his position. Paul also ate very fast and then took off with Naomi to go look around the courtyard, which scored Naomi points and ME points, since I got to sit there and eat in peace. Not that she wasn't cute. But she ate a couple bites and then just wanted to hide from the unfamiliar people and lap-hop between those she knew. And she was BEYOND livid with me for not just nursing her as she lap-hopped. So, Paul to the rescue, thanks kid.

After the totally wonderful food (ah, thank you FIL, that was my yearly fix of sashimi and chocolate haupia cake...no, not at the same time) we headed home to lie around and digest things for a while.

Then Paul and I went and picked up his gilfriend V, and we headed out snorkelling, yes...COMPLETELY CHILDLESS. Whohoooo! The sun had dropped behind the mountain, casting a long shadow on the area we were swimming, by the time we were halfway out, but the day was beyond hot and we enjoyed the swim anyway. We followed a turtle, saw some octupi and FAR too many wana (errr, sea urchins, those big black spikey ones), and generally had a decent time in a very familiar snorkelling spot. We were happy to see that in the year or so since we'd all last gone, the reef had regrown in several places and the fish population was flourishing (for a while pollution had driven off a lot of fish and poisoned portions of the reef). I was happy that I didn't have to work hard to keep up with my hyperathletic brother and his hyperathletic girlfriend.

I like V. She seems like a cool girl, and very practical, just the kind of person not to take advantage of how helpful and polite Paul can be :)

The kids had fun with my parents, although Toddlerness tried twice to jump into the pool without her arm floaties (ok, she succeeded twice, but decided it was all in fun since my mom fished her out right away, and was happily puttering around the pool, floaties on, when I got back). Toddlerness, of course, burst into a wail-fest the moment she saw me, but I'd seen the fun...little FAKER.

Hawaii Day 5 - Return of Paul

My youngest brother, Paul, has been in Orchestra camp for the past week, which means that even though we've been on the same island, we haven't seen him. Now, orchestra for most people means BORING but they have a truly incredible program; demanding but balanced with so much fun and recreation that it is well worth it.

Plus his girlfriend is in band, which was holding camp at the same time and had a few conjoined activities.

We had planned all along to go to the end-of-camp concert, but after I got about 2 hours of sleep last night (seriously, between diarrhea Tony, a mewling cat, and OK I'm awake at 3:45 Naomi...2 hours might be a generous estimate) we decided that this would be our ONLY activity today.

Ok, so we went to the little neighborhood park for an hour. No biggie.

The concert was great, and after all the Baroque music they'd been focussing on, out came a prominent local band they'd recorded with to do some "fun" music. And it was a lot of fun! We sat right next to the school principal (a man on equal footing with the Governor in general social status)...well, Tony did. He fell asleep midway through the concert but hey, he wasn't a pest. Naomi was surprisingly good too; she found a package of hair accessories in my bag and spent over an hour taking them out, putting them on fingers, putting them back in, taking them out, handing them to family members, etc.

We were back on my own alma mater, Kamehameha Schools, and while I didn't run into any former classmates or teachers (school is not in session) I did find someone I'd run track with. The views were just what I remembered. Spectacular.

I didn't get to meet Paul's girlfriend, the drum major for the Kamehameha Marching Band, an elite band that performs in such events as the Presidential Inauguration Parade and a great many other invitational venues. They, apparently, are a tad more disciplined than the orchestra; when Paul's band played (err, for dancing) at the band dance, they would not let him so much as SPEAK to his girlfriend after he exited the stage, much less kidnap her to come meet us. But hey, exclusive invitations to perform in China must come at a price, right? And that price is, well, being incredibly anal about what the band members are doing during camp.

Anyway, we saw Paul perform, met up with him after, and he and Naomi...well, she won't even LOOK at him. Buried her head in my shoulder. If she didn't have that available she'd actually do a wrinkly-faced "if I close my eyes for long enough, maybe he'll go away" kind of thing. After we'd all been back at my parents' for a couple hours, she LOOKED at him a few times when he wasn't looking at her, but that's as far as it went. When he went to watch his girlfriend perform (from the audience...without talking to her...errrrrr), Naomi declared victory and is happily sleeping in what she believes to be a Paul-free house.

The other kids, on the other hand, had a riotous time letting Paul toss them around the pool and couldn't quite understand the allure of watching the girlfriend play when he could very well keep swimming with THEM.

Ooooh, oooh, and this was funny enough to share; girlfriend rounds up the band members even from the dining hall by blowing a whistle. On the other end of the hall, Paul's orchestra friends have decided that the only suitable thing to do is to get Paul a whistle so that he can return the mating call. They do, after all, seem to have to communicate at a distance. Well, at least for this week. Which to a kid entering his senior year in high school, might as well be FOREVER. That they didn't get around to it over camp matters little. They'll probably get him to do it some other time now that they've gotten the idea into their heads.

The camera took a break today too. Didn't take a single photo. Although I would have if I'd remembered to bring it to the concert, but, oh well.

Hawaii Day 4 - Hanauma

After our second-day Hanauma-less adventure, we decided to try the VERY early approach this time. Luckily, the kids are floating somewhere between Hawaii and Washington time, and got up all on their own and only slightly surly at 6am. By 6:15 we were in our swimsuits. Well, most of us were in our swimsuits. Boyness didn't want to swim RIGHT THAT VERY INSTANT and, in typical four year old fashion, absolutely could not conceive of wanting to swim ever, ever again. So him we let carry his swimsuit to the van. We grabbed a random assortment of fruit, boiled eggs, bagels, and travel-mugs of coffee and juice, and were outta there by 6:30. Arrived at the parking lot at 7:20...OPEN!! YEEESSSS!!!

We DID have to pay admission, because Hanauma Bay is quite the setup now and apparently, they don't take EXPIRED drivers licences, however local they may be. Ah well, it was worth the five bucks.

Hiking down to the bay:



Getting ready:



Off they go!:



My mom took the two big kids for a little putz-around and then took Becca for a slightly longer trip. Once they'd gotten that out of their systems, my dad and I left the kids with her and went for a more extended trip, exiting the inner reef area through the semi-harrowing center channel, travelling along the outer edge of the reef towards the left-hand side of the bay until we were close enough for our own comfort to the rock wall there, and then looping back for the slightly spooky trip back through the center channel. The outer reef is much more alive with fish and corals. We saw a great many varieties and some very large fish, as well as a few dangerous urchins (one I'd never seen before and had to dive down for a closer - but not too close - look). Coming across a deep hole in the reef to a white wash of sand below is shocking; the beauty of these 'holes' is difficult to describe and perhaps not everyone sees them the way I do. They are a pure break in the riot of life that is this reef zone. Seeing the depth, the cleanliness, the fish microcommunities, the rays of sun like columns holding up surface; literally hearing the crackle and static of a thousand parrotfish and wrass crunching a million small rocks into a billion new grains of sand; watching schools of convict tang dart between rocks and over and around the hills and valleys of the reef-freeway; it is heartache-beautiful.

The return trip past the reef was tough but we made it back fighting a strong current, tugged around in murky water, jagged rocks popping up out of 'nowhere' - because you can't see anything - and we were fine but there was a dad who had taken a preteen kid out that wasn't doing so great. I nearly lost my dad because halfway through the passage I got ticked off and opened up to full swimming effort assuming he'd follow, and he didn't. By the time we got to shore we were laughing and remembering times we'd dragged OTHER people through that passage.

We capped it off with a little goofing off on the rocks before we left:



And after we'd broken camp, we trudged back up the trail - this is when my mom spouted her ingenious idea, which warranted another entry all its own - and ferried sleeping children back to my parents' for a late lunch and some swimming and the bike adventure.

The kids were BEYOND exhausted by 7 and asleep by 8. Tony even said "I don't wanna watch a movie tonight, I wanna go to bed now." Ahhh, lovely tired kids. Off I go to join them.

Like Riding a Bike

As we were huffing and puffing up the incline away from Hanauma Bay, my mom got an idea. A wonderful, awful IDEA.

She wanted to take me biking.

Now, me, I'm a tad overweight and haven't so much as jogged to my mailbox in, errrr, 5 years. I've not been on a bike in even longer.

She is a competitive triathlete.

A tad mismatched, no?

I firmly veto a ride up Tantalus (mom, your idea of a SHORT ride is TEN MILES!? My CAR can barely make it up Tantalus!) and mom convinces me that "Mrs. Trek" (oh how cute, she names her bikes...) can get me up Old Pali Drive easily. Errr, this would be the original route OVER THE MOUTAIN. Really, I don't think so. It's only 8 miles? Er, now I KNOW I can't. WHAT? Mrs. Trek doesn't have pedals?! How...oh...you clip your shoes in...while you're MOVING? WHAT do you mean you only have to fall about 3 times before you figure it out?!

My mom eventually semiprevailed. She argued strongly in favor of the "never pass up an opportunity to try something new" and "you don't know you can't until you try it" philosophies. But the rain saved me at the last minute and we instead spent an hour in the semihilly surrounding neighborhood. I didn't fall but I did find out that "Mrs. Trek" is a splendid bike and the fancy expensive italian click-in shoes are horrid to walk on but absolutely lovely to bike in. You can't turn "Mrs. Trek" 180 degrees without a large area or unclipping your feet, a somewhat complicated balancing, pressure, and fine-motor-skill procedure. This made things...interesting. Mom even got me head-to-toe in the gear. After about 2 miles on semihill I don't feel bad at all, so I might try out the Old Pali Road after all, especially since she's been relegated to a lesser bike and tells me she's somewhat handicapped (mwahahahahaha) so she won't kick my ass, well, THAT bad.

Hawaii Day 3 - North Shore

We did get out after all. At around noon, the kids were home and fed, nobody had barfed in HOURS, and we decided to head to the North Shore for some fresh prawns and shrimp. Loitering at the beaches we found in the meantime would be optional. Well, that was the idea anyway. The kids were certain to grab their suits and towels. And snorkels and fins. And sand toys. The beach was looking, well, less and less optional.

We loaded into the car. Boyness decides that now would be a nice time to inform us that HE felt really sick. My dad has been denying all day that he's coming down with it but looks...uncomfy...behind the wheel. We grab a just-in-case bowl for Boyness and head off.

First stop: Dole Plantation. Here we found dairy-free pineapple ice cream cones for the kids, train rides (we didn't go), the pineapple maze (er, just look at the website) and, as we were leaving, Boyness had his first barf of the day.

Second stop: Sunset Beach. My mom went swimming for a bit but the surf was too high for the kids, so everyone else just puttered around in the sand for a while.


Third stop: Laie Point. Just for scenery.




Boyness stayed in the car with Papa. By this time Papa is fighting his stomach, and Boyness is working on his fourth or fifth throwing-up session.

Fourth stop: Hukilau Beach. Papa and Boyness sit in the shade and look miserable together, Toddlerness and I sit in the sand and bury each others' feet, and BigGirlB heads off into the surf with her Tutu. It is perfect learning size, the waves average armpit-height for her, so she can pick her approach pretty safely (anything from hopping over the swell, diving under the break, standing sideways...it is a training of sorts for situations that could roll her more easily). After about half an hour Tutu pulls the plug on the fun, though, since the menfolk are so miserable, and we head off, only to decide not to get those prawns and shrimp anyway. After all, of the 6 of us in the car, 3 had barfed within the last 12 hours and a fourth was looking to add himself to the tally. And it would just be uncool to buy Boyness' favorite food in its freshest form and cook it all cool-like, only to have him unable to eat it.

So we took in the scenery as we wound our way along the coast. We made one more stop, at the farm store for the macadamia nut farm at Kualoa ranch. No pics there, but I've got physical proof I visited. Er, for a while at least.

By the time we'd gotten back to my parents' place, Boyness had counted his barf sessions up to 6, but after sitting still for about 5 minutes gave up on this whole being-sick shit and went off to have a boisterously fun swimming session with his sisters, a small dinner, a movie, a few bites of tofu cheesecake (THANKS for passing on that recipe Danelle!) and to bed. No more barfing. Hopefully this is it for this stupid, untimely little stomach bug.

Now I just hope they sleep in tomorrow. This morning Boyness woke me up at 4. Yes, 4. "See that window Tony?" "yah!" "See it is DARK?" "uh...yah..." "that is because it is still NIGHT TIME. GO TO SLEEP." "BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" "DAMNIT, now you woke ME up, if you come in my bed will you sleep?" "*sniffle* Kay mama" (commence rolling, kicking, shifting assault on whatever sleep I could have gotten). DAMNIT!!!! So yes, I've been up way too long. This post has gotten way too long. Coincidence? I think NOT!!! I'm over-wordy when I'm tired.

Toodaloo and all that.

Baby Makapuu Pics #3

Ah, well, we're stuck here today. Becca tells us she feels better but she lacks a certain spring in her step, and I'm worried that if we overdo it, there will be prolonged sickness. Naomi is generally unhappy. My mom has taken all the kids to the park just down the street to distract them for a bit, and I've taken to the computer. I thought I'd go ahead and upload some more photos for everyone.

Enjoy!






OK this last one needs a bit of explanation: we were at the beach on the far side of this hill, the one on the near side is where a friend of ours got married about 4 years back at sunrise. So pretty :).

It is only noon and if the park trip turns out well and I can get a nice nap out of the big kids, we might head out somewhere low-impact this afternoon after all. We'll see :)

Baby Makapuu Pics #2

Hawaii Day 2 - Baby Makapuu

But first, a little apology, I am writing this (and future ones, I'm sure) dead-tired at the end of the day. It serves as my own personal journal as well, so there you have it, tired, not-well-thought-through, but POSTED.

The day began innocently enough with an attempt to get out of the house early and head off to Hanauma Bay, an insanely popular snorkelling spot that is, incidentally, accessable only by parking in a small lot off a narrow, windy highway and taking a paved walk carved into a cliff face down to the beach. Which means that once the parking is full, you're screwed.

As we were, even though we got there at 8am.

So we continued on. I'd forgotten how much I love the east coast of this island. So beautiful. The pictures didn't come out so I'll not post them, we'll skip right to the kids-on-the-beach photos. We stopped at the tidepools at Baby Makapuu, which has always been a favorite spot for our family.

The kids had a blast and I'll just let the photos do the talking:






There are a bunch more pictures. The kids found a fish in the pools and were happily chasing him around when they realized...hey...there are LOTS of fish in here! They jumped, they snorkelled, they had a pretty all-around good time. But I can't post any of that because Blogger only lets me put up 5 and I am not breaking this one up.

Anyway, we headed off at 11 or so to see if the first wave of visitors to Hanauma had cleared up and we could find parking. No such luck. We decide to head to Ala Moana, which won't exactly be secluded either, but where we'll surely find parking. On the way back down off the mountain, Becca declares "I feel sick". By the time we are picking up some Korean-style bentos from Sam's, "I feel sick" has become "I'm gonna barf" and soon, there was half-digested peanut butter sandwich all down her front and (luckily) all over the towels we'd brought. Further plans for the evening were scratched. We went home and let the now-well ones splash around in the pool while now-sick-Becca lay miserably on the couch and barfed intermittently. Later in the afternoon my mom and I took Toddlerness out for some grocery shopping, during which I had to bite my toungue often and hard to prevent myself telling her how much less stuff costs in Washington. But we got our meals as well as a lot of fruit and snacky things, and we stopped at the local health food joint for some Tony-safe foodstuffs, so even though Becca grounded us for the rest of the day, we got that out of the way.

Damn, I wish I could post the rest of the pictures. It really is more-kids-at-the-beach though. You get the idea. It was lovely.

Travel! Toddler! Noooooooo!

This saga begins not today, but on Saturday. When Toddlerific woke us from a dead sleep to begin barfing. And proceeded to barf her way through all of Sunday (keeping down exactly NOTHING). And Monday.

Which would all have been fine and dandy (ok, well, not QUITE fine and dandy, but not nearly the pain in the ass it was) if we weren't expecting my dad to come in on Monday, spend the night, and then accompany us to his house in Hawaii.

Toddlerific has even in the best of circumstances been quite the clingy little child. I mean, you hear about these children, the ones that won't let parents go to the bathroom. She was totally one of them. So yes, barfing, clingling, miserable toddler. Trying to pack. Trying to clean (oh the laundry and floor-scrubbing that a barfing, clinging, miserable toddler can produce!). Not the happiest combination in the world.

We enter into Monday with the unhappiness-and-unsunshine that was sick-Toddlerific, and we add to this the fact that my dad doesn't get on his first flight (standby), nor his second, nor his third, and we are now discussing our "options", and THEN he finally gets on a flight only to have it significantly delayed...oh, was it ever a FUN day.

At last, Toddlerific slept, Papa (my dad) arrived, I packed, Fran washed dishes, we turned in at midnight. Woke up at 5, ate a hearty breakfast, left the house right on time, got to Portland right on time, got on the airplane.

Toddlerific is clingy and saddish but survives to this point just fine.

We were stuck (Toddlerific and I) on a window seat, penned in by an elderly handicapped woman (she couldn't get up!) and her daughter. For the entire flight. I could barely shift my weight, forget fucking walking the aisles.

~L~, I love ya, if it weren't for Little Bear on the DVD player, you might, if they let people blog from prison nowadays, be reading about the misadventures of someone taken down by in-flight security. Because I would have gone nuts. Cry a little, nurse a little, cry a little, wiggle a lot, cry a little, wail about not being allowed down, try to climb the seat in front of us, stare greedily at neighbor-lady's muffin, throw toy at neighbor-lady...oh, it was FUN. Not.

We made it, but it was a close thing. We are at my parents' house in Hawaii.

There is nothing quite so interesting as coming home after being away for so long. The house SMELLS so familiar. In a good way. Because my parents' house is largely scented by the lovely plumeria trees that divide their property from the neighbors'. The breeze flowed through like some large fresh-air bearing river (20mph average...it isn't the 'light lovely tropical breeze here in the upper valley). And it was HOME. As if she understood this concept, Toddlerific began exploring immediately (something she, well, never does), the big kids quickly found places for their things and rediscovered the pool, and we had ARRIVED.

Clutter! Mess! REVISITED!

Why I took these pictures, I don't know. They bring up...irritation...even now, over five years later.

But, since I looked at them and was irritated and have pictoral evidence of exactly WHY my husband's packratness bothers me so much (and my MIL's packratness bothers me even more) I have decided to post them.

Several months before we married, my mother-in-law moved out of the apartment she had ostensibly been sharing with her sons (she had been living, more or less, with her longterm boyfriend, for the past year or thereabouts) so that we could rent it from her. I am forced to use the term 'move out' loosely, for while she claims to have moved out, she left a LOT of shit. Sure, SOME of this shit is my husband's. But most of it is not. Note the bicycles. INSIDE. And not my husband's. There is an enclosed patio and locked closet, both of more than decent size, attached to this apartment. But they were covered in assorted OTHER shit (we found everything from years-dead plants to decayed batteries to plastic boxes so old they literally broke in our hands as we lifted them) so the bikes were inside. The TV didn't work anyway (for those of us that think no-tv is new for us...it isn't). SO. Much. SHIT.

We now get to see the kitchen. What you can see is NOT all you get here. MIL is, you see, a packrat of absolutely insane proportions. She saved every pair of single-use chopsticks she ever got. As a Chinese person in Hawaii...yeah. I lost count around 700. Why was I even COUNTING? I dunno. Amusement. So that I could tell people there were 12,345 pairs of chopstics in the kitchen, along with cans of Ensure that had expired a decade previous and bags of flour so old I should have submitted them to the natural science museum. Whatever the reason, it was a waste of time.

The dishwasher held the clean dishes. So that the actual cabinets could hold assorted nicknacks, candles, assorted small and unused appliances purchased off of infomercials, you know, SHIT. And YES, I do mean that there was more than you can see on the counters here. In addition to that bit of nonfunctional unloveliness, the oven was full of more dishes as well as all the pans and such. My husband assures me that the oven was never used, as his mom preferred the toaster oven, which also (hehe) housed the pyrex pieces. Both of these situations existed for two reasons: 1)MIL kept those foil things that come on the bottoms of pies and some restaurants' takeout and 2)the drawer that should have housed all this shit was full to the I-can't-open-it point with plastic grocery bags. What I didn't realize was that they had been shoved so hard that some had escaped up out of the back of the drawer, hiding to create stinkageness the first time I tried to bake something. Niiiiiiiice. All in all, there was not an INCH of counter space in the WHOLE FUCKING KITCHEN. Not an INCH. I don't know how my mother in law cooked, because surely she DID, I think it was all simply done in midair and placed in a crock pot, because that is how it seemed to happen when I came over for dinner (which we had to eat sitting on the floor in the 10 square feet of open space in entry/hallway).

Oh, but she DID have a table. You just couldn't sit at it. I mean, you could probably have managed to get yourself seated at it and that would have worked out, but you couldn't have moved afterwards. I saw my MIL clear it away once. She pretty much picked everything up and dumped it on my husband's bed so that her mom could sit at the table. I'm not sure what is up with the clear space in the photo. Maybe she decided she needed whatever it was she had in that spot at her new place.

I don’t have any pictures of the bedroom. It was perhaps simply too appalling. There were racks of clothes…store-style racks of clothes…outside the closet. File cabinets. A set of bunkbeds and then just…SHIT. You could barely walk through the room. Maybe that is why there are no pictures. I couldn’t get in there to fucking TAKE them.

Anyway, look and feel better about your life and the amount of shit you have in YOUR place. This is BEFORE I put any of my stuff in there. We had to clear out a lot of stuff. A lot of it, I was just…I was disgusted…I stuck it in boxes or bags and dumped it at MIL’s new place. I don’t want all your fucking half-burned candles and old correspondence and 1000 pairs of Chinese takeout single-use chopsticks. Three different types of coffee grinders, 12 spatulas, three hairdryers, and four (clothes) irons. A linen closet FULL of sheets, for the ONE bed we had. Just...no.

It was a lot of work. It made me appreciate packratness for the mental problem it so obviously was. Clearly it took a lot of mental work for my mother-in-law to leave this stuff behind. I just wish she hadn't dumped it all on the heads of the newlywed, new-family, struggling day-to-day family that we were.

Random Summer Fun

Sometimes, summer just hits you upside the head. Like on Wednesday, when I was sitting at my computer typing "we are going somewhere today...maybe the zoo" to ~L~ at the exact same moment that the lovely mamaD (I don't know what she blogs as!) typed "we are going to the zoo...". So, since it was obviously a zoo kind of day, off we went.

To the zoo. Where the kids appreciated random bits of animalness (everything from toddlerific imitating walrus "burps" to big kids oggling porcupine spines), played in the wonderful but highly distracting 'kid zone', and generally got way too worn out.

And WTF, it was summer, we might as well stay south overnight and play more the next day.

Riding in my car must have worked some kind of proximity magic on Little Boy N (well, that or the bribe of Pirate's Booty), because I'll be darned if he isn't the very-best-little-kid-in-the-world in toddlerific's eyes now. She ADORES him. The feeling, apparently, is mutual: "She was crying but I could take care of her...I am going out her door Miss Niki...I like her...because she is so cute...". Way to melt my heart Little Boy N. He snuck random cute-toddler hugs the whole time we were together. So. Cute.

Well, Toddlerific slept in but GirlieG and Boyness were both having allergic/sick/whatever kinds of problems...they were rough on Thursday. We had planned Seattleness but ended up staying at ~L~'s place and attempting to facilitate any amount of not-tear-each-others'-heads-off we could get out of the kids. We all had fun, it was just...Seattle would have been way too much energy to expend on already out-of-sorts (and not in a recoverable way) kids. We did eventually make it out, in the afternoon, to a park. After the "5 more minutes" warning from me, we decided to check out the creek first before leaving...big, well, I dunno if it was a mistake. There were soon splashing fun-having kids and leaving was nowhere in sight. ~L~ captured some of this on camera and put it in her blog.

Ah, summer.

We got home and the way-tired kids had showers and put themselves to bed two hours before their usual bedtime. Oh, the fun.

Big Bad Walmart Rant

On Friday, circumstances aligned themselves most unfavorably and we found ourselves in Renton before the opening of Target or any other such civilized establishment, unwilling to travel far in morning traffic, and *gasp* within sight distance of an open (of course) Walmart.

Walmart should be razed to the ground and the likes of Sam Walton and all his progeny should be erased forever from the collective memory of our society.

It sucked.

I've avoided Walmart for about a year now. In fact, I can recall the last time we went to Walmart it was to pick up a last-second birthday present for the same child whose birthday party we went to on Saturday, so it was exactly a year between trips.

We browsed to kill some time before Target opened or I could safely get back on the freeway. The store was dirty. The employees were oblivious. The radio overhead played a maddeningly static-popping country music station, which midway through our stay at the store somehow found an R&B station as well, so we had Country, R&B, and Static playing through the crappy speakers all at once. Madness threatened. The floor was dirty enough to blacken the kids' hands when they decided ("Ewww, get off the floor!") to race each other down an aisle on hands and knees. Items were out of stock, others overstocked enough that bulky pallet-fulls of such assorted items as fabric softener, toilet paper, and Juicy Juice were strewn about the aisles randomly, like some newbie couldn't remember where they belonged and, unable to find another employee to ask (they were certainly short-staffed enough), did the sensible thing and walked out of that hellhole on the spot.

We left before the freeway was free. I just needed out.

We went to Target. Everything I'd purchased at Walmart was less expensive at Target. 24 pack Crayola crayons, $.25 at Walmart, $.10 at Target. 70 page craptastic notebooks $.10 at Walmart, $.05 at Target. Even the REGULAR PRICE CLOTHING was cheaper at Target (and I already only buy it on clearance, which, by the way, was ALSO cheaper at Target by over HALF).

What. The. Fuck.

Never, ever, evereverevereverever going back to Walmart again. Ever.

Hair Stories

We were posting our hair stories on a discussion board I frequent. Turns out this is a pretty meaningful subject for a lot of women. Here is mine:

I had my first hair cut at 3 years old. My dad cried. My hair had been thick, dark, and waist length, which is ridiculous to keep up on a three year old, and my mom was pregnant with my little brother and simply DONE with caring for my hair.

I then grew it again until the dreaded PIXIE CUT when I was 8 or thereabouts. It looked simply horrific on me, with my rectangular face and prominent jawline. I looked like a boy for two years. The attempt to soften the oddness of it growing out backfired, making an awkward phase last far longer than it needed to.

And then I grew it and grew it and grew it, only trimming it occassionally when chlorine (I was a competitive swimmer) rendered the ends ridiculous. By college it was well past my waist, thick, wavy, and beautiful. I got it permed my freshman year and it was absolutely gorgeous, thick curls if I wanted them, lanky heavy curls if I wanted them. I have beautiful photos of myself and my firstborn, my long hair draped on the bed as I admired little newborn her.

But my hair became difficult to care for in the Hawaii heat and I cut it short. I was never satisfied with it any shorter than shoulder length but the hassle of drying my hair (it seriously took 6 hours) kept me cutting it frequently.

When I was pregnant with my third I shaved my head. And LOVED EVERY MOMENT of my shaved head, EVERY SECOND of my hair growing back, the feeling that I was living and thriving and growing and producing for myself and not just for my babies. Funny how just my hair made me feel like this; like my embodied existance was not simply for others, and here was the proof. I could make something that served no purpose for anyone but ME! My third is 18 months old now and my hair is a couple inches past my shoulders, and I am considering shaving my head again. But I also LOVE the feeling of long, long hair. So I remain undecided. Maybe next year I'll shave my head again.

Dateline 7/10 Nikiland

Bebegirlieness is still crankass. But we got an additional saga yesterday when she stuck her finger in the pencil sharpener (not automatic, thank goodness, just your traditional turn-the-pencil sharpener). The cut was deep and she would NOT stop using her hand and messing with it. By the time Fran called me (I was making dinner)there were bloody babyprints on his shirt, on his face, on her shirt, on her face, and there was blood all down her arm. It was NOT pretty. In fact it was mommy-heart-attack-inducing, especially since I hadn't seen the incident or the beginnings of the bleeding, and just walked in to Daddy-upset, Baby BLEEDING.

Put on a bandaid? No, we will WAIL and SCREAM and make evident our weird little psychosis about things stuck to our hands and feet. Miserable.

Hold gauze to it? Same issue.

DAMNIT.

I finally settled for nursing her so that her hand was out of her sight behind my back and hoping that if all the more fiddling she could do was wiggling her fingers, it would stop bleeding.

It took about 10 minutes and my back was swabbed in baby blood, and I'll probably never get the stains out of my bra, but it did stop.

An hour later she picked up a piece of steak and started screaming (salt in her cut I'm sure). We washed her hand and I couldn't find the cut.

WTF.

Earlier that Same Day:

The same baby spent an hour in IKEA pushing around a baby-sized cart and acting every bit like the sweetie-pie that makes everyone with the least bit of hormone circulation want a child. She is just so fucking unpredictable. We go from absolute cuteness in IKEA to full-on crankass earlier or later in the day. We could go to IKEA and get her a kiddie cart today and she'd probably pull a screaming lay-on-the-floor fit. Her teeth had better fucking just come in already. And stay that way. Damnit.

In Other News:

Becca was swinging on her swing yesterday and said to me "mama, after I had my talk with daddy about not going to first grade, I feel lots better now. I like doing all the stuff he said way more than I like school."

OMG did he find the magic words or WHAT!!!

Also Schooling Related:

We went to Staples yesterday and the kids picked up enough money from the ground outside to pay for our purchases. They were having a penny sale. We spent $.35 and got 12 folders, 3 boxes of pencils, 3 pencil sharpeners (one of which provided the baby-cutting news item), and 4 packs of filler paper. We promptly went home, cleared off the table, and made alphabet folders (each page is for a different letter). The kids are so cute, so excited about pencils and paper and folders :). Becca wanted hers in cursive and the tough thing about that is...I forget the 'proper' way to form some of the upper case letters. Oh well, shortcuts work for the rest of us. She's actually quite good at forming the cursive letters. Yeehaw for her.

I will now stop the mindless drivel. Have a nice day.