Saturday, March 22, 2008

Still Swimming

Just keep swimming...

Onsite last week. Basic Clinical Assessment. I know that I did very well on two of the three stations, I'll hear back about the third in the typical not-timely SMS manner. Projects due...completed at the last possible moment, as usual. Little sleep. Lots of time in hard plastic chairs. Good/bad. Stress/comraderie.

Final exams this coming week. A few assignments and other loose ends to tie up.

Two more weeks with my current preceptor, and then a break.

Just keep swimming...

In Which BittyPrincess Must Part With the Nummies

Well, well, well. In December we hit 3 years still going strong with the breastfeeding.

The "nummies," as all three of my children call them (thanks, mom - no seriously, it's a good stand-in, way better than "boobie" or whateverelse), have been in constant action since Girliness was born, 8 years and almost-two months ago. I figure that they're approaching retirement age.

So I told BittyPrincess that they are all tired out, that they've been working every single day since she was born, and they were all done now. She's big, her siblings went through this too, blah blah blah blah. She's not quite buying it. Refusing to accept it, in fact. "They NOT tired!! They NOT done!!! They MY NUMMIES!!!"

So she squishes her face into my chest, and we count.

The first few nights we lay down in bed when she'd just gotten home, sleepy from her car ride, and we counted to 20 and let sleep take us over.

On Wednesday night, we had no such luck. We counted to 3,547.

Yesterday we took a nap together. "Count to ten, mama," she said, climbing into bed with me. I did, and we fell asleep. Last night we got to three hundred something.

I don't like this counting thing all that terribly much. But if I can count to twenty and she'll drift into her own little world and eventually to sleep, I can live with that. I'm not even sure where this counting thing came from. It is working now, and she is demanding it.

Not really feeling bad about weaning BittyPrincess. I just wish I could skip this messy in-between step and jump right on over to the "alrighty, head to bed kids!" step that Girliness and Boyness are in. I have to admit that nursing this long, for this particular child, has been less about it being what I want and more about it being what is convenient. It was easier to keep nursing than it was to wean. But I've been done for a long time, hanging in there because she wasn't. Chapter close. Breastfeeding done. I'm ready to move on, and I think that at some level so is she. The irritation of keeping up the nursing has overcome the irritation of stopping it. I still get to cuddle my sweet girlie to sleep, and in some ways it is sweeter and more fulfilling when she isn't coming to me just because I'm the person with the breasts attached to my body.