Friday, June 22, 2007


So I'm posting to say that I haven't been posting because if I had been posting I'd just be venting, and at this point there have been so many dead-stupid things said in my lactation education course that I simply don't know where to begin (or end...or what to put in the middle).

Alive. Strangely enough, finding myself really enjoying carpooling into and out of Seattle with some of my classmates. Not finding a whole lot more to get excited about there.

Had a day off on Thursday, went to Mack's son D's party at ~L~s house. Made a cake without sugar or dairy and got my hands (and feet and knees and skirt) stained in fabric dye doing some tie dying with the kids. It turned out GREAT! Or, at least the stuff that I took home did. I hope everyone else's was great too :). It was a beautiful day with beautiful people :).

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Buncha Shit

So I was about ready to kill my husband yesterday. ~L~ was here to watch my kids...he got home before me, and man was he ever putting out asshole vibes (grumpy vibes? whatever, he was making a nuisance of himself). Like anyone needed that, eh?

By way of explanation, I offered up that he'd been up late (very, very late, 3ish) coughing up blood after an exploratory mission into the baskets under the bed had uncovered a hunk of moldy old food and he'd inhaled some dust or something from that mold. It was nasty, and damn if that man doesn't cough SO FUCKING LOUD that I was awake until 3am too. But the kids, mercifully, slept through it and had no idea their dad was spitting blood into the sink. Until I was sleep-deprived enough not to think before discussing it with ~L~ in front of Girliness. Who is now like "why did daddy have blood in his cough? Didn't that hurt? When did he do it? Is he all sick? Is he OK?" UGH. I can't honestly answer that he IS OK, either, because it is still possible he'll get an infection off of this. I'm not into lying to the kids at the best of times, and when it might come back to bite me and result in her not trusting anything I say ever.again. If I'd lie to her about her daddy being OK, why wouldn't I lie about whether she is OK, her brother is OK, whatever.

But I was up until after 3 and then had to wake up at 5 to go to PEBL - Professional Education in Breastfeeding and Lactation. I learned a whole 2 new things!!! In 9 hours of instruction!!! And *gasp* my two new things aren't even new things that make a difference! Seriously, we don't have lactiferous sinuses - they're just the ducts dilated out during let-down? Whoop-de-fucking-do, you could have told me THAT in 5 minutes, sent me to the Medela website for some nice images, and we'd all be happy. I'm seriously pissed off at this. I am not looking to take the board exams, so all these requirements for didactic hours etc are meaningless to me, and yet, they mean that I'm taking approximately 30 more hours than I really need. What I WANT is for the school to get a qualified instructor to give a short course addressed to midwives, that leaves off all this hospital bullshit, because *MEMO, MEMO* we are not going to be dealing with hospital administration. And HOURS and HOURS of instruction to that effect had (and will continue to have) a severely head-nodding effect on my classmates and I.

I'm away from my family, for THIS. I'm having to arrange childcare and inconvenience my friends A LOT for THIS.

And then, to top it off, Fran found out he DOESN'T work tomorrow (whether he was supposed to know this is debatable according to his workplace, but I have a schedule ON MY FRIDGE that says that he was supposed to work tomorrow), and seriously...~L~ and clan were going to sleep over and miss her husband's leaving for a weeklong work trip, and they really didn't have a choice but to flee and get some family-time before that happened. Meaning she's driving extra and ~L~ had a very dissappointed Girlie on her hands.

My week is SHIT. AND I've had to cause shitty things for my friends.

And Fran just woke up saying he's having "rawness" pain breathing and swallowing and feeling achey and pain-ey. Fuck.