Teething Sucks

It fucking SUCKS. Not only does it fucking SUCK but her teeth refuse to just come out and be over with it. Her lower right canine keeps erupting and then GOING BACK UNDER. OMG. And every tooth is a freaking nurse-me-pity-me-my-life-is-over fest for bebegirlieness.

The other two simply did not teethe. Their teeth just kind of came in and I didn't know about it until I saw new teeth.

Oh no, she is not only DOING the whole "teething thing" but she is also making up for them.

I have HAD IT. She is laying on the couch watching *gasp* a movie and wallowing in self-pity. She has been chewing on her fingers so much that they bleed. My nipples are raw. I am so, so tired of nursing her constantly (and I do mean constantly...5 minute breaks here and there unless I can actively distract her or get her daddy to take her). It's to the point where I just fucking want her off me for a solid 10 minutes.

We are going out in a bit and FUCKIT, I am buying that whatever-it-is numbing gel shit that I've always thought was a bullshit pseudosolution. Holy hell, I understand now why parents keep tubes of it in the baby bags.

I will then slather her poor little inflamed gums with it and whirl around the room with my baby-free arms outstretched.

Or so I fervently hope.

Because otherwise I might just finally, totally CRACK.