This is a post I have trouble writing. Not "trouble" like emotionally gut-wrenching trouble, just...it is tough to pull words from the fog of this week.
You hear all through admissions to this school that "onsite weeks will be tough!" But the reality of it all is that we are thrown into some pretty heady shit really fast, and it was tough in an unexpected kind of way. We have done breast exams already and our first round of pelvics are tomorrow. Pelvics. First week. Holy shit.
This isn't just "holy shit" in terms of a lot of material. We are really heartily supported by the faculty here. But I feel for my classmates with sexual abuse histories. I feel like they've been shoved into a place they don't belong yet. I don't think they're ready. My concerns are diminishingly small compared to theirs.
I think we are all coming to terms with how fast we are tackling physical skills in our own ways. We eased through breast exams so easily, we were so heartily prepped for it, that it felt like we were examining each others' elbows. It does not hurt that there is not a single person here that I believe should not be in this class. I will be heartily glad to see each and every one of these people as midwives.
Myself, I am just plain TIRED. To get here at 8am I leave home at 6:45. After a day that ends at 7:30, I get home at 8:30. We subsist on coffee; there is a full pot of the stuff in the corner all the time. Class literally comes to a halt so that it can be refilled if it runs out.
This is a venting place and I think that it is going to become rather more private than my blog has been to date. So I'm taking it off the MDC links.