Friday, June 06, 2008


It's been a while. Perhaps my longest blog break since I started this crazy thing, although I am not sure about that and am not about to dig back and figure it out.

It isn't like I've got anything particularly interesting to say. I've been busy. I'm adjusting to the slower pace of clinic days and the less intense personalities in the new placement. Some of the things that sounded really daunting are turning out not to be, and vice versa. The sheer time-volume demand is draining.

The kids stayed the night last night with my mother-in-law. All three of them. BittyPrincess did fine, I'm told, and is up for a semi-planned ("we'll see how the first night goes") second night tonight. Fran and I had an in-house date night last night, and a very late morning this morning.

I couldn't think of anything that I *really* wanted to do without my kids, except fill a gap in my wardrobe (having put a hole in yet another pair of pants, need to stop doing that...I'm almost as bad as the kids with the knees, I swear). Clothing shopping with kids bites large.

I kept my promise not to even look at anything for anyone but myself.

In a melancholy mood on the drive home in the drizzle (where the fuck is summer?), I stopped at the falls. In an odd moment of impulse/whimsy/whatever, I hiked down to the base of the falls, clogs and inappropriate clothing and all.

I arrived in one piece at the bottom of the falls, and stood for quite some time at the lookout (you cannot approach the falls closely this time of year). I was, apparently, the only being fool enough to come down on a day like this.

The waterfall was violent today. I watched the water hasten over the ledge, hitting the pool with vigor and sending blossoming plume-ghosts far into the air, exploding into the mist and roiling into the greater river. Violent, angry, beautiful. The roar of the water and the verbal clatter of my internal monologue rushed in my ears. It was probably the longest chunk of time I've spent unguiltily just-for-me in a year or more.

I passed several small groupings of people on my way back up. I am not sure why the universe thought I deserved that time alone, but obviously it did.

My friends deserve a post of their own, and I'll write it my head while I fold laundry and come back with it later.

1 comment:

~L~ said...

Beautiful, Niki. Beautiful .