Mother of three FOUR children. Midwife. Homeschooler. Wife. Woman.
At least a little bit insane.
But definitely too tired to do anything about it.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
This week, this day, this hour
I am so, so overwhelmed with all there is to do these days. "One day at a time" gives way to "one hour at a time" sometimes, and I often find myself sitting at the end of a day and wondering where all those hours have gone.
Still, in the midst of all this business-starting and practice-starting drudgery, there are signs that we're about to wake up.
When I lived in Hawaii and seasons were mild (almost, if you weren't paying attention, nonexistant), I didn't understand the concept of spring cleaning. Here, now, when we are coming out of the bulk of our 266-or-so days of overcast weather a year, and when the unexpected rays of light blind our poor maladapted children and stream into our windows to illuminate streaks on the the wall and stains on the floor and some spaghetti sauce from last week on the stove backsplash and *gasp* how have I not noticed my door is blue before!?....here, in the PNW, there is TOTALLY such a thing as spring cleaning. Last week I wound up scrubbing walls while the baby slid herself around the floor in the (nontoxic, no worries folks) cleaning solution. Not 100% productive considering I have a month of business expenses to log.
So far this year, my business expenses exceed my income 6:1. I'm not SUPER worried about it because just one full payment will bring me equal, and I've now purchased the bulk of my necessary supplies. It was a huge worry of mine that I'd get to the point where I'd be needing to attend births and not have the money to buy something I needed to feel safe, but I am past that now - both because I've bought the bulk of my supplies, and because I know I have people out there who have my back if I really need something. Still, there's always something that needs to be paid for. Malpractice insurance. Drugs. Office rent. Everyfreakinglittlethingelse.
Our van is dying. No, really, we've heard from reliable sources that the transmission is on its last legs (or last miles, or whatever), and we're shopping for a 7+ passenger vehicle, which is a surprisingly difficult endeavor.
It all sounds a little sad, writing out out, but really it isn't; it's just BUSY. Really, really busy. Not enough brainpower to fuel the blog on a regular basis kind of busy.
Through it all the kids grow and learn and change, and we try to grab as much as we possibly can. As happy as we are right now it's hard to regret how busy our lives have been, and still we go, go, go, go.