Oh, and...

The school, of course, couldn't just let me graduate without some drama. A scant few weeks before the licensing exam, already having paid the fees, and with a "you need to repay in full if you can't be there" notice on my fridge, I get:

"We can't officially graduate you and release your transcripts until..."

Well fuck me, you don't say? I am pretty sure that I, in fact, have to do next to NOTHING on that list. I read my handbook and can quote it. And I did, with only moderate amounts of snark, which got me out of some but not all of the things on their list.

The easiest thing is to roll over, do as I'm being asked, and watch the red tape dissolve. My preceptors think I'm ready for practice (are referring a few people to me, actually) and are interested in making sure I can take exams and get licensed on time; they've humored the school in providing a second set of evals just two weeks after their last set (what do they expect to have changed?), and working with me to be able to sign a few things that if the system worked as it should, my program coordinator would be signing for me.

There are several reasons this pisses me off:

- We had a check in last quarter that made it sound like I was about done, and said NOTHING about several of the items on that list.
- Some of those requirements aren't in the handbook, meaning that they AREN'T requirements and the school has no right to hold my transcripts while they wait.
- In fact, the school has no right to hold my transcripts AT ALL. The state needs transcripts to show that I've done the coursework, they don't need my graduation papers for me to sit the exam, just before the license. The school is effectively holding my papers hostage. The transcripts are mine. That can't be legal.
- The NARM skills checklist - a 22 page long list of things our preceptors are supposed to sign off as we master - has a "safety" where if you don't manage to do some of the skills, the program director should be able to see that you've covered them in your coursework and sign you off. Which the program director is REFUSING to do. This is not OK, it really isn't. Why say you have that safety there if you don't? There are skills on that list that I'm not going to get to do. My preceptors can sign off after we review and drill; but this is something that the program director is supposed to be able to do, since we reviewed and drilled in our courses. So why not fucking sign? I passed those parts of the curriculum. I thought that was the stated reason for the hefty curriculum at this school; so that we have knowledge that we need when we encounter those things that aren't so common, that we'll not see in our practicum. Why are they being such ASSES about signing it off? I have all of 3 things left. My preceptors haven't seen me do them any more than the program director has...but my program director, unlike my preceptors, has access to my exams and course work and could verify that I know what to do. I don't get it. It feels like making life hard just for the sake of making life hard. It feels, again, like holding my papers and transcripts hostage.
- I have to do a fucking EXIT INTERVIEW before you'll release my transcripts? Again, not in the handbook. Those documents need to be at the state office...and you're telling me that I need to do this, oh yeah, and you're going on fucking vacation next week? I think fucking not! I need more notice than "do this or else, oh yeah, and it will be extraordinarily hard to do this and you don't have enough time."

Until this point, I haven't had issues with the school largely because however much asshattery I encounter, it's been forewarned in handbooks or at some point in our education. BUT NOT THIS. This is NOT OK. Setting us up for failure, much?

Yes, I'll get it done. Yes, I'll be OK. That isn't the point. The point is that I could very easily NOT have been able to, and I wouldn't have had the warning I needed to ameliorate that. The school has told me over and over again that I'd be able to take the exams in August. THIS IS THE KIND IF SHIT I WAS TRUSTING THEM TO TELL ME ABOUT, and they don't even have the "it was in the handbook" excuse, because it FUCKING WASN'T.

Mad, mad, mad.