Been a While, Hasn't It?

There really wasn't going to be a totally appropriate time to restart this blog. So I'll just jump in. Again. With a massive batch of updates.

I am indeed completely done with midwifery school, no lie, actually completely graduated with all the licensing exams passed and fees paid. I even updated my blog headline to read "midwife" instead of "student midwife." Done, done, done, done done. Done.

I am also pregnant. Totally, miserably, planned-ly pregnant. Yes, they can go together, we can plan to get pregnant and then it can S.U.C.K. So far, my list of things that suck in pregnancy:

• Morning sickness. Extreme morning sickness isn't a fun, dangerous sport. It sucks.
• Gallbladder issues. Talk about a poorly designed organ.
• Ligament pain. Why don't we just have rubber bands there again?
• Blood expansion. Hello anemia. Let's just pile inability to carry oxygen on top of the other reasons to feel tired during pregnancy, shall we?
• Hormones, hormones, hormones. Usually it takes, well, a lot to make me cry. Now I can't make it through a commercial break.
• Relaxin (technically I could have included this with "hormones"). Could we not just produce this as we go into labor or something? How much snap-crackle-pop is a barely-30-year-old woman supposed to have, again? And how does this translate into inability to stand all the way up for the first 10 minutes of the day?
• Food aversions. How is it nutritionally beneficial for me to turn into a vegetarian?
• Maternity clothes. Just because skinny jeans are the "in" thing doesn't mean you can't carry anything else. "Buy your prepregnancy size"...BULLSHIT.

I'm sure there are many more that I'm not thinking about right now. I can't wait for this to be over. Distract me, please, somebody, something, the internet, I don't care, just make the time pass faster.

In the meantime, the kids have grown and been very kid-like. They are probably enjoying me being home more, but are showing it in strange and highly annoying ways. Boyness turned 8. BittyPrincess is turning 5 tomorrow, but we celebrated on Saturday in our typical disorganized holiday/birthday combo...we'll have to figure that out a little better next year, since I suspect she's actually starting to care that we're rolling two parties into one.

We're broke but the kids' Christmas wishes are modest this year.

I can't work because the timing is all wrong, and I feel only marginally better than shit anyway. I'm due April 20. We'll see how far postpartum I get before I get stir-crazy and set up my website and insurance contracts. I'm guessing not long.

I fully intend to start posting again. If for no other reason, because this blog has in the past been a great picture album. We'll see what happens.