It is going to be winter forever in the Pacific Northwest, I have decided. It is rainy and very windy today. A tree that I keep hoping will just fall and get it over with is resolutely not falling into my backyard, even though some other foliage is out there setting a good example. Our power went out, and back on. Between possible lack of power and tree limbs in the road, it would be a crappy day to have a baby.
So (not entirely due to the weather) I have also decided I'll be pregnant forever. My uterus is being extremely noncommittal about this whole labor-or-not thing, and I think it's just never going to make up its mind. At this rate I'm going to decide "screw it," take a trip 90 min from my house and wind up having a baby in some store somewhere. Last time I felt so full of peace and knowledge about the whole labor/birth. This time I'm just like "shut up uterus, I know you're just kidding again." On the plus side, I guess, during 12+ hours of contractions that were exactly 7 minutes apart yesterday, I accomplished a lot of those silly little last-minute things. Fran came home from work, spotted the baskets of pads and diapers etc, and asked if I wanted to do squats or "something" to get labor going. I promptly laid down in bed and picked up a book without answering him. He asked if he should get labor snacks ready, and all I said was "sorry for the fake out" and fell asleep.
And then I woke up every 30 minutes all night.
Now I have a sore throat and feel kinda spacey. Sounds like what Boyness has; he has spent the last few days whining about his throat, taking his temperature every so often just to show off the high numbers, and drinking Throat Coat tea.
I realize I'm not even to my due date (in fact my due date is about half a month away). I wouldn't mind being pregnant for longer, if my uterus would just stop playing its little "made you look!" game. I don't want to sound like a complete ass to women who habitually wind their way up to the 42 week mark. I kind of do, I realize. I would happily be pregnant for longer if I could do it a little less sick, tired, and contracty.
Oh, and if the kids would stop being complete whinerbaby contentious pains in the ass. All three of them in dish-it-but-can't-take-it mode in a HUGE way. Yesterday we TOTALLY had a bad kid day despite me trying to rally them behind a showing of Star Wars and some ice cream (--> complete "that was my spot" "his foot is in my way" FAILURE). And yes, today may be shaping up towards almost-as-bad status, although I'm not having to step in and yell at them as much. I understand they're as sick as I am and almost as tired. No matter how good my "you don't try to kill people who irritate the crap out of you" example is, the kids seem incapable of following it. Yesterday was one of those rare days where if I left the kids to their own devices I might actually be down a child or more.
THANK GOD for coffee, hot tea, good books, and the internet. 'Cause if I have to go out into humanity again (as I tried to today, and OMG was it torture) feeling like this, I will literally infect humankind with my misery and life as we know it will be ruined.
ETA (edited to add) - allow me to tag on the fact that not all of life is doom and gloom, and that I had way too much fun at my mother blessing this past weekend, which I can blog about (including a few pictures hopefully) when I don't feel like a big fat sarcastic bitch. You know, the sort who answers "uh-oh, you'd better be careful" from some innocent old lady with "don't worry I won't fall on you and squish you." (True story.)
5 weeks ago