Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Scissors and the Internet

No, they aren't related. Well, not in the cause-and-effect sort of way.

This morning things were going so phenominally well in kidville that I decided to go ahead and take the gyn exam. I might have even gotten most of the way through it before the kids ran out of energy on their projects and started bugging me again.

But nah, instead, Comcast picked this morning to simply stop working. No way to blame this on anyone tangible (and available for strangulation) like my husband - the neighbor's internet and phone didn't work either. Comcast has worked and worked and worked so solidly for us for so long that I was just FLOORED that it happened...this morning...while I was taking a final exam. I was a grand 'ole 14 questions in, already wondering how on earth I was going to finish it in the alotted time, when it happened. And I sat. And sat. And it didn't come back.

And I fumed.

And I called people.

And somewhere in this fuming and calling people, Boyness stopped using his scissors on his art project, and used them on Toddlerness' hair instead. Snipped a couple of times roundabouts her right ear. Some first haircut, eh?

Furious kind of touches the edges of how I felt. Kind of. But not quite. Be proud, be very proud - I did not beat the living shit out of my son. Matter of fact, I didn't even look at him. I sent him off to his bed, collected fallen hairs in a ziploc, and tried not to look at toddlerness' head until I wasn't quite so mad. Not her fault, after all. Somewhere in this time, toddlerness decided life was peachy and went about her toddlerific paper-fish rearrangements, which kind of left me without so much pissy ammo.

I got internet back, bitched at people, gave Boyness his reprieve, got the test reopened, took the test. Booked a hair appointment at the kiddie salon for Toddlerness. Got her there...and there was no consoling her. OMG she acted like she was being TORTURED. There was no holding even remotely still. Even on my lap she sobbed and flung and carried on. The poor woman who cut her hair did an admirable job and offered to touch it up if I thought I could coach some not-so-hysterics out of her for a return visit, but I don't know if that is going to happen. I think I'd rather have her hair be uneven than go through that again. I may try to fix it myself - she got a nice under layer in there before Toddlerness went completely into hysterics, but couldn't get anything remotely resembling "even" accomplished after that.

After spending too much money on a haircut, we spent too much money on lunch. But at least we all enjoyed the lunch part of the day. It is now 5:10 and I have accomplished almost nothing in my list of things to do today (which is imaginary, as anyone who knows me and my aversion to organization could have guessed).


~L~ said...

Toddlers suck. Internet outages suck. Hyper f. yo biscuits .... you get the picture.

Wow. This is some crazy universe where you didn't get to choose your dds' first haircuts.

Louisa said...

remind me to post pictures of the aftermath of H's haircut by yours truly (Johnathan eat your heart out) on the front steps with the kitchen shears.
He too behaved as though I were removing his spleen through his right nostril.
Fear not sweet mama, there will be other haircuts to moderate:)